This is the time to buy a big TV.
We all know the story from England’s point of view. We beat Italy. Obviously. (2-1 Sturridge header and Gerrard pen if you’re wondering) And suddenly there rises a wave of English positivity, something that hasn’t been seen since around about the last time England managed to beat someone half decent.
We then play Uruguay. And that positivity comes crashing down at a rate that hasn’t been seen since… Well since around about the last time England got beat by someone half decent. Suarez scores a hattrick. Obviously. Elbows someone in the bollocks. Obviously. Get’s a completely reasonable sized ban. Not so obviously. And once again becomes the pantomime villain for all of England to sneer at. Because let’s face it, the media are actually starting to like him, it’s about time he did something stupid.
Ok so England have 3 points with one game to go against Costa Rica. We need just a draw to qualify for the knock-out rounds. We get it in dramatic fashion. Costa Rica score within 10 minutes courtesy of Bryan Ruiz. And from that point England do everything in their power to get a goal back. They literally use every single tactic they’ve been taught by their manager. They cross the ball, they cross it again, they cross it for a third time, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Why doesn’t one of these crosses produce a goal? Hodgeball is a tried and tested tactic, used by only the most talented of football teams, why isn’t it working? The Costa Ricans are defending exceptionally well, heading away anything England throw at them. In the 92nd minute England have a wide freekick. Gerrard and Baines argue over who should take it until Gerrard plays his ace on his sleeve. He’s the captain, his decision. Gerrard takes a perfectly whipped freekick and who’s there to head it in? Rickie Lambert. Obviously.
England go through as Group D runners up with Italy as winners after beating a Suarez-less Uruguay 3-0. England are therefore fated to play the winners of Group C. Thank god Group C is such an easy group. But mind you, Colombia aren’t a bad team. England manage to play out a classy 1-0 victory over the Colombians and are through to the quarter-finals. Where they meet their match.
When you look at Group A (Brazil, Mexico, Croatia and Cameroon) one name jumps out at you as overwhelming favourites. They just happen to have home advantage as well. Brazil give England a proper lesson in football. I would like to say that England go out on penalties. But that’s far too optimistic. Glen Johnson is run ragged and is powerless to stop 4 goals flashing into the net. England are sent packing (Hodgey is sacked despite his extensive experience and tactical nous, what a shame).
But this is all irrelevant. Completely and utterly irrelevant. Because it’s easy to predict England’s story, it’s easy to just follow England and not look at the bigger picture. At the World Cup some of the world’s best players will be on show and I don’t want to miss them because I’m too busy counting the amount of crosses that the mighty England are putting in. Instead I will be sampling the other games that are on. Admittedly I will spend the most time on England, mainly because half of the team are Liverpool players but also as a Liverpool fan I will be looking to see how Sakho and Suarez get on (And possibly Coates and Reina).
This is the time to see why there’s a big fuss about player X or player Y. This is the time to watch teams play who you’ve never seen before. This is the time to enjoy football.
This is NOT the time to get injured, Luis.
We then play Uruguay. And that positivity comes crashing down at a rate that hasn’t been seen since… Well since around about the last time England got beat by someone half decent. Suarez scores a hattrick. Obviously. Elbows someone in the bollocks. Obviously. Get’s a completely reasonable sized ban. Not so obviously. And once again becomes the pantomime villain for all of England to sneer at. Because let’s face it, the media are actually starting to like him, it’s about time he did something stupid.
Ok so England have 3 points with one game to go against Costa Rica. We need just a draw to qualify for the knock-out rounds. We get it in dramatic fashion. Costa Rica score within 10 minutes courtesy of Bryan Ruiz. And from that point England do everything in their power to get a goal back. They literally use every single tactic they’ve been taught by their manager. They cross the ball, they cross it again, they cross it for a third time, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Why doesn’t one of these crosses produce a goal? Hodgeball is a tried and tested tactic, used by only the most talented of football teams, why isn’t it working? The Costa Ricans are defending exceptionally well, heading away anything England throw at them. In the 92nd minute England have a wide freekick. Gerrard and Baines argue over who should take it until Gerrard plays his ace on his sleeve. He’s the captain, his decision. Gerrard takes a perfectly whipped freekick and who’s there to head it in? Rickie Lambert. Obviously.
England go through as Group D runners up with Italy as winners after beating a Suarez-less Uruguay 3-0. England are therefore fated to play the winners of Group C. Thank god Group C is such an easy group. But mind you, Colombia aren’t a bad team. England manage to play out a classy 1-0 victory over the Colombians and are through to the quarter-finals. Where they meet their match.
When you look at Group A (Brazil, Mexico, Croatia and Cameroon) one name jumps out at you as overwhelming favourites. They just happen to have home advantage as well. Brazil give England a proper lesson in football. I would like to say that England go out on penalties. But that’s far too optimistic. Glen Johnson is run ragged and is powerless to stop 4 goals flashing into the net. England are sent packing (Hodgey is sacked despite his extensive experience and tactical nous, what a shame).
But this is all irrelevant. Completely and utterly irrelevant. Because it’s easy to predict England’s story, it’s easy to just follow England and not look at the bigger picture. At the World Cup some of the world’s best players will be on show and I don’t want to miss them because I’m too busy counting the amount of crosses that the mighty England are putting in. Instead I will be sampling the other games that are on. Admittedly I will spend the most time on England, mainly because half of the team are Liverpool players but also as a Liverpool fan I will be looking to see how Sakho and Suarez get on (And possibly Coates and Reina).
This is the time to see why there’s a big fuss about player X or player Y. This is the time to watch teams play who you’ve never seen before. This is the time to enjoy football.
This is NOT the time to get injured, Luis.